Dialogue Journaling
An Unexpected Dialogue with My Father
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This morning while doing my morning pages, quite unexpectedly I started having a dialogue. It wasn’t planned. I was listening to Angela Falco’s music CD (http://www.angelafalco.com) and remembered what she wrote about her Dad when she was playing one of her unnamed songs for him. His response was “You wrote that song? … why don’t you name it: ‘Don’t Know Where I’m Going’.” I began to sob thinking of my Dad – gone since 1984. Wishing I could see my Dad or be with him, I wrote, “I don’t miss him that much to be with him in death, but I’d like to have a conversation with him about life, love and business.” Then I wrote “Gee it could be a book with the title “Conversations With My Father.” My next words appeared on the page quite unexpectedly:
“Gee Dad, I’m baking a cake this morning, Chocolate Devils Food. You always liked German Chocolate cake, but I loved Devils Food – all that dark richness, I could eat just the batter. When did you start liking German Chocolate Cake (since I always baked the Devils Food as a kid)?” And so the conversation started… “Remember that lunch counter we use to go to in Atlantic City on the boardwalk? I had my first piece there and loved it, and you would bake one for me from time to time. It was delicious.” And so I continued to write a few more pages with questions and dialogue with Dad, writing as fast as I could with his responses.
Dialogue journaling is nothing new. I often suggest this kind of journaling to friends and clients to use dialogue journaling as a medium for zooming in on specific issues – especially when it comes to physical pain, emotional hurt, grief, loss, anger, resentment, jealousy… and some more happier dialogues such as a job interview, discussion with a boss, spouse, love one, friend or family member. Even dialogues with your inner child are common and healthy. Therapists have used it for years. Some dialogue journaling will also include sketches of scenes to address the anger, hurt and loss, heal the hurt and pain, and eventually move on with emotional growth and a new perspective around the situation.
I’m not a therapist, nor is my background in psychology (my college days were spent learning business). But I do recommend dialogue journaling and allowing yourself the time to feel the pain and hurt, and wash it away with tears of sorrow and eventually joy. If you are in therapy, work with your therapist on this as well.
I can’t promise I’ll finish my book “Conversations With My Father” anytime soon, since I just came out with 365 Days of Creative Writing – journaling prompts for every day of the year… but I do know with journaling every morning I can have a conversation with my Dad and build my book that maybe one day I will publish. In the meantime, it’s healing me to know that Dad was a huge influence in my life as an entrepreneur. His passion for music was undeniable, and his creativity and artistic expression was certainly passed down to me (well really all 3 of us). Two of my books have dedications to his teaching me perseverance, independence and self-discipline.
Meanwhile, I’ll continue my morning pages, journaling each day for 15-20 minutes and know that all of you are inspired to do the same. Regardless of whether you decide to dialogue, writing every morning has brought me many blog postings, newsletters, and book chapters out of that simple 20 minutes of journaling. Imagine what 20 minutes of journaling can do for your life? The possibilities are endless.
Make it a Great Day and I hope you write something in your journal today.
Love and Hugs
Rosemary Augustine
How To Dialogue Journal: When I started my conversation with my Dad, I asked some simple questions, I continued to write and listened for an inner voice. The responses came through that inner voice and my hand, making me write as fast as I could. I titled the top of the page “Conversations With My Father” so I could later find it among the hand written pages and transcribe it onto the computer.
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